Half-Packed, Half-Ready
I’m not in Australia yet.
There’s still so much to do, packing, paperwork, remembering how to say goodbye without making it weird. But the flight is booked, and the days are moving faster than I’d like.
In a few weeks, I’ll be living in Brisbane from July to November, studying conservation and environmental science. It’s something I’ve wanted to do for years. I went to Australia once when I was ten, and it left a mark on me in a way I didn’t fully understand at the time. I just knew I needed to come back.
Before I settle into life there, I’m stopping in Fiji with my family for six days. We usually take a family trip once a year, and this one lined up perfectly. I’ve never been to Fiji, but it’s been on my list forever. I’m looking forward to the in-between time, some quiet, some sun, and a chance to just be with my family before everything shifts.
Leaving is hard. I’ve been trying to keep myself distracted, but the truth is I’m going to miss everyone. My friends, my partner, we’re hitting our three-year anniversary while I’m gone, and instead of celebrating together, we’ll be on a video call. I’ll miss my little sister most. She’s starting college about a month after I leave, and not being there for that is something I’m still trying to make peace with.
I’ve never lived this far away from home, or for this long. I’m not great at being prepared. I tend to do life the way I pack for trips: last minute, slightly chaotic, but with a weird sense of optimism that it’ll all work out. I’m nervous about the time difference, about sticking out, about being the outsider. I don’t feel ready. But I don’t think that’s a requirement.
Right now I am spending as much time with friends and family as I can, trying to fit my whole life in a carry-on suitcase, and working my butt off to tie up every loose end I could possibly have from work before taking off.
This blog isn’t going to be polished or profound. I just want to keep track of the things I don’t want to forget. The honest parts. The weird moments. The things I don’t know how to explain to anyone but myself. I’ll also be documenting parts of this journey in short-form videos on TikTok (@avery.cyan), nothing overly curated, just little moments as they happen. Packing chaos, travel days, homesick nights, and whatever surprises come with living on the other side of the world. It’s a way for me to stay connected and look back later on everything that doesn’t always make it into words. I'll also be adding them here for everyone who doesn't have access to the app or simply doesn't want to go search for my account.
This is the beginning. Not the exciting part, just the real part, where you’re standing at the edge of change and trying to make space for everything it brings.
